Let’s face it…kids just seem to get what they want. They are masters of it…but probably not for the reasons you might think.
Before I share the ‘secret’ we can glean from our children about manifesting what we want in life, let’s talk about WHY they (and we) want stuff in the first place.
The reason behind our wantings
Have you ever wondered why human beings seem to WANT so much so often? We want foods to eat, we want toys to play with, we want to go places, see things, and experience as many things as possible.
It’s because we are naturally curious about things and naturally creative when we are born. Our brain development, and our health, depends on a steady stream of new and different stimulation from our environments, and that includes the people in our lives.
Our brains are designed to continue learning until the moment we die, even though our culture generally believes differently. The research studies on brain function all concur that we are able to learn and be mentally sharp as we age and turn into sweet little old senior citizens.
We ‘want’ things because of that drive for stimulation.
Take boredom…most of us have experienced it…that mental and emotional state when nothing you are currently involved in seems to provide the stimulation you want and need. You may feel any one of these many things: weary, apathetic, frustrated, dissatisfied, restless, lethargic or just emotionally flat. Boredom for us humans is not a good state to find ourselves in.
Boredom causes us to do things we might not want to do…eat the wrong foods, choose dangerous or illegal activities to participate in, experiment with drugs…OR, it can motivate us to try new things that expand our minds, get us out of our comfort zone and choose activities we might otherwise not have chosen for ourselves.
Lessons from our kids
Children are rarely bored, and when they are, it’s usually easy to get them interested in something new. They are simply hard-wired to be open (that’s a clue right there) to trying new things…at least they are until they start going to school where they get bombarded with messages from others about how they should and shouldn’t be.
This boredom lesson translates into first, being mindful of when you’re experiencing boredom and second, realizing why you’re bored in order to get yourself moving in a more enjoyable direction. Boredom is rarely fun so knowing that the reason you are bored is because you need more stimulation and all you need to do to unearth yourself from this sinking feeling of dissatisfaction is to consciously choose to do something new.
Here are a few ideas…
- Get up and move. Too often the feeling of boredom is created from lack of physical activity. Our brains and bodies both need physical stimulation to be in tip top shape. It doesn’t matter what it is, you could go climb stairs for 20 minutes, just get your body up and move it and see what happens. You might just realize that you aren’t actually bored, you just needed some exercise.
- Explore a new art or craft. The easiest way to do this, if you don’t have something in mind that you’ve always wanted to try, is to visit your local art supply store and start walking through the isles. Personally, I get over-stimulated when I do this because I want to try EVERYTHING! Luckily, my pocketbook is set to “Try one art form at a time”. Currently it’s ceramics and I’m loving making cute little jars with lids. I am never bored when I’m working with my hands creating something new. Try it…you may discover a whole new way of staying active and stimulated.
- Learn a new language. Research has proven that learning languages uses different parts of our brains and forces us to think in new ways.
- Find a new friend. We often fall into friend ruts…doing the same things, having the same conversations, eating at the same restaurants, with the same people. Even better yet, find someone from a completely different race to get to know. Go out of your way to strike up a conversation with people in your world and you might be surprised by who becomes your new best friend.
There are a zillion and one ways to stay stimulated. Staying OPEN to the reason you are bored in the first place will help you get unbored.
Now for the real clue
OK, now that you understand why we want things in the first place, let me explain why we only need to look to our children to realize why we aren’t getting what we want for ourselves.
CHILDREN DON’T KNOW THEY CAN’T HAVE WHAT THEY WANT
Yup, this is the clue…when kids are born, they haven’t been told (yet) that they can’t have what they want. To the contrary, as parents, we go out of our way to give them what they want.
When they cry, they are either hungry or tired or dirty. So we nurse them, help comfort them to sleep, change their diapers.
When they are a little older, they cry and we run to their rescue. Are they hurt, scared, need comforting? Whatever they need, our parenting instincts kick in to deliver what they need when they need it.
Want or need…is there a difference?
For infants, wants and needs are probably the same thing. As we get older, wants and needs can have different meanings. We WANT a lollipop, we NEED food. It’s the same for adults. We WANT a BMW, we NEED safe, reliable transportation.
For children, asking for what they want comes easily and naturally, unless they have been told otherwise. We can literally create adults who easily manifest their dreams or adults who never get what they want.
It’s all in what we say to them about wanting things.
Take my four year old granddaughter, Marley. She literally manifests everything she wants. We walk into a store and past the balloon and flower section. She says, “Gramma, I want a balloon.” I say, “No balloons today. I got you one last week.” The lady working behind the counter hears her (evidently not me) and says, “I just accidently blew up an extra balloon, can she have it?”
Violá! She has her balloon. Her life is like this all of the time. Why? Because for more than two years now I have been telling her she can create anything she wants in her life. I’m setting her up to have the life that she wants.
What if, however, she had a parent (it only takes one) that constantly said, “No, you can’t have that. You can’t have everything you want. No one can.”
She would be growing up with the belief…and life only knows how to reflect our core beliefs back to us…that what she wants isn’t always possible. As she gets older, she is liable to stop wanting things because, after all, why bother if she can’t ever have what she wants.
Now I know what you might be thinking…”We really CAN’T have everything we want.” Are you sure? Did you grow up being told that you couldn’t?
The key in all of this is to know that though we really can manifest the life that we want for ourselves, one of the principles to real manifestation, according to Deepok Chopra, is not being attached to how, when and in what form what you want shows up. In my own experience, what shows up is often better and more than I wanted in the first place!
Bottom Line…Power Core Financial Beliefs
The key to having the life you want is having a core belief that what you want is possible. Once this core belief is in place, it’s a matter of…
- Knowing exactly what you want,
- Knowing the ‘why’ behind what you want (that’s an entire article for later),
- Consciously thinking about and visualizing what you want, and lastly…
- Not being attached to when, how and in what form they show up.
You will be surprised by how easy it truly is to have a life that you actually consciously create. I have personal experience doing this. It’s my personal belief that it’s our birthright to have and create all through life and I actively participate in the creation of my own life.
Financial Coaching is your best investment
Your first step, if you don’t know where to start, is to get some help from someone who can help you develop more supportive core beliefs and get you started down the path you want instead of the default path you’ve been on.
When you’re ready (why not be ready right this second?), simply set up a complementary 30 minute coaching call with me…my gift to you. Many women have had the ah-ha they needed in this free call. You may, too! If you want to know more about money coaching and how it works, check out my Success Calls Financial Coaching Program. I LOVE coaching women…it makes my heart happy to help women move from a place of dependence to that amazing place of independence.
What are you waiting for? The life you want is ready when you are!
Again, it’s my gift to you.
I promise it will be fun, light, enlightening and helpful. I’m always excited because I might find my new best friend in YOU! Talk soon.
Elisabeth, aka The Financial Literacy Lady